But Never Forgotten
by JohnnyCake13
Summary: 4th book (part one) of I Don't Understand/Say Something/I'm Giving up on you. Full summary inside. The gang know by the way I act now. But they don't know me, the way I was before. They don't know what my life was like before, my true life….
1. Summary

The grass was still, besides the small pieces that dared to move within everyone else. It reminded me of people nowadays. There was more still pieces of grass then moving, that represented the people that tried so hard to fit in, so wouldn't dare to ever do anything different from everyone else.

Then there was the swaying pieces of grass that moved by the light breeze, but it only got to them, not anyone else. They represented the outgoing people, that didn't care what everyone else thought, and did whatever they want even if they got judged.

Next there's the flowers the popular, they get admired by everyone that passes. They are usually the rich (the socs), and people like that. The still pieces of grass are the people that want to become like the flowers so much, that they would do anything, ANYTHING become like them.

Finally, last AND least the weeds, who stand for the low lives, the one that don't fit in, and won't ever fit in, even if they tried. They only have each other. But the thing is there is so many weeds, that they become their own group, their own family. They don't have anyone but each other, and if you grow up like that, you will learn pretty quickly to stick to your own groups.

I happen to be a weed. I have a family, which is the gang.

But what the gang don't know I used to have a real family, a blood family that cared about me. The gang know by the way I act now. But they don't know me, the way I was before.

They don't know what my life was like before, my true life….

Authors Note: This is just the summary the story starts next chapter.


	2. Chapter 1 i don't forget u

Chapter 1

"I'm not the clothes I'm wearing  
>I'm not a photograph<br>I'm not the car I drive

I'm not the money I make  
>I'm not the things I lack<br>I'm not the songs that I write

I am who I am  
>I am who I am,"<p>

Saige's voice echoed throughout the gym, for our 'STOP, and stand up against bullying' assembly.

"There are true things inside of me  
>I have been afraid to see<br>I believe, help my unbelief,"

Leo joined in with his soft but deep voice.

"Would you say again what you said to me?  
>I am loved and I am free<br>I believe, help my unbelief,"

Leo payed back attention to his guitar, as Saige sand as a solo again,

"I'm not the house I live in  
>I'm not the man I love<br>I'm not the mistakes that I carry

I'm not the food that I don't eat  
>I'm not what I'm above<br>I'm not my scars and my history,"

Leo joined back in stepping back up to the microphone,

"I am, I am, I am who I am I am who I am

"There are true things inside of me  
>I have been afraid to see<br>I believe, help my unbelief

Would you say again what you said to me?  
>I am loved and I am free<br>I believe, help my unbelief

To your love I'm waking up  
>In your love I'm waking up<p>

There are true things inside of me  
>I have been afraid to see<br>I believe, help my unbelief

Would you say again what you said to me?  
>I am loved and I am free<br>I believe, help my unbelief."

As Saige and Leo stopped singing, everyone stood and clapped. Including Logan, Emma, Corey, and me. Saige and Leo walked over to us and sat down on the bleachers. On the bottom Emma, and Saige. Then on the top Logan, Leo, me, and Corey.

Leo was the oldest out of us. He was 13. He had 2 brothers, (like the Curtis brothers). One older brother, and one younger brother, except he wasn't like Soda, more like Darry. The responsible, mature one. We didn't go over to Leo's house, because of most of our home lives, because his dad was a fire fighter, and his mom was the sheriff.

Then Emma was the second oldest, who was also 13. She reminded me a lot like Dally, just in girl form. She had a little sister and brother, and an older brother and sister. She kind of had a home life like me, now. Her dad was a complete drunk, and her mom was never home. Her dad could get physical sometimes but the only thing Emma gets concerned about when her dad's like that is her younger siblings. She acts like a total rebel, a hood, but if you mess with her siblings, she just might kill you.

Then Logan was the 3rd oldest. He was 12. He could be serious, but just decided not to. He loved to joke around but he could be serious and stubborn too. He reminded me a mixture of Soda, Steve, and Two-bit. A confusing mixture but true for him. He had one older sister, but no other siblings. Logan been through things we haven't, hard things like going through a divorce with his parents when he was only 6, and his sister was 13.

Then there was Corey. He was 11. He was famous, and I don't me famous as in popular, I mean movie star famous. He was in Friday the 13th (the new beginning & the final chapter), he was in the gremlins, several TV shows, and commercials. He wasn't even close to being popular in school, everyone but us hated him. They thought Corey thought he was better than everyone else but he didn't, he just wanted to fit in. Corey was an annoying brat to everyone else, but he was the wise cracking, funny, joker/clown to us. His dad let when he was 7 or 8, and his mom abuses him, treats him like shit. Mostly verbally though, because of his acting, she calls him ugly, fat, stupid, all kinds of things. He tries to hang out with us as much as he can, usually he has to sneak out, because his mom won't let him out unless it's to jog to lose weight. He's NOT fat, he almost as skinny as me, you can see his ribs because his mom would starve him for days. He has one older sister, who's also a actor, 2 younger brothers, and one younger sister.

Next me, I was 10. The gang already know what my life is like now, but it was different before. I had siblings. Two older brothers, 1 older sister, and two older step sisters. Megan and Melissa were my step sisters, Megan was 11, and Melissa was 13; Eli and Jake were my brothers, Eli was 12, and Jake was 15; Amelia was my sister, and she was 14. My actual parents were nicer than my parents now. My actual mom, was nice, she tried to keep the family going, but she got murdered by my actual dad when I was 3, I don't remember, but Amelia remembers everything, she was there when it happened, she watched it happen.

Finally Saige, she's 9. She kind of is what holds us all together. She has so much energy, hope, and faith in her it's not even funny. She's the kind of person that believes the world will get better one day, and will help anyone in need, even if it's our enemies, which we had a lot. She has so many talents, singing, horseback riding, martial arts, art, gymnastics, and basketball. She was more with us guys, which isn't surprising considering she had 5 older brothers, and only one older sister who was in college. Her parents died, on the same day, different states, and at the exact same time. Her dad dying in an air craft crash, and her mom dying by a car crash in a taxi with a drunk driver.


	3. Chapter 2 can u hear me?

Author's note: If you didn't know, all of this is in Johnny's POV.

"You guys won't believe what I just did," Emma plopped down at our lunch table with a tray half way full with food.

"What is it this time?" I ask, making everyone laugh.

Emma always gets in trouble, smart mouthing the teacher, punching a kid, threating people, ect.

"I punched a kid in the face," she smirked.

We all sighed, and I asked, "Who is it this time?"

"Bryce Howler," Emma says simply.

Our jaws nearly drop, "who now!?" Saige asked.

"Bryce you know the guy we hate, DUH!"

"We know!" Leo says, "but why him?"

"He stole my pencil, he deserved it."

We all crack a smile, then holler in laughter.

"Oh great, here he comes now," Corey interrupted us.

"Great, him and his 'gang'," Logan laughs.

Bryce, David, Ryan, Thomas, Julia, and Alison sit down in the extra chairs at the end of the table, and stare at us, they don't say anything, just stare.

Emma rolls her eyes, annoyed, turns towards them and says, "what's your guys' problem?! Take a picture it will last longer!"

"Burn!" Corey laughs.

"Shut up Feldman," Bryce warns, making Corey look down.

"Don't yell at him," Saige tells him. This is my point she doesn't care who it is she will stand up for anybody, if she sees that it hurts them.

"Who's going to make me?" he taunts.

"That's an old comeback, is that all you got?" Emma slowly walks around to Bryce's chair and Bryce says, "get away from me."

"Who's going to make me?" Emma mocks.

The bell rings for recess but none of us move.

Bryce stands up, he was the same height as Emma so he couldn't scare her by his size. Saige on the other hand, he could try to since she only reached his shoulder, but she wasn't intimidated, she didn't care how old you were, or how big you were she treated you the way you would treat her, her friends, and/or family.

"We will finish this at recess."

"Or now!" Emma says.

Emma decks him in the face, then trips him, making Bryce fall into the table. She turns towards us and tells us to run.

All of us picked up our trays threw away trash, and pushed through the big crowd of kids to get to the playground. We ran on the very far end behind the trees. It took longer for Bryce and his 'gang' to find us.

Bryce calls him and his group of friends a 'gang', but they're not even close to one. We would have called ourselves a 'gang' too, but Saige was scared of gangs, because a real gang of teens beat up her 15 year old, second oldest brother, Luke.

They found us by Corey looking from behind the group of trees, well Bryce and his friends were behind the trees and Bryce so happened to see Corey.

Corey was on the ground in an instant, hitting his head on the hard ground.

"Get off of him Bryce," Saige yelled, and pulled on his arm, but ending up not being strong enough.

Bryce gets up on his own then pushes Saige, "Get off me, Saige Copeland," he spat back.

"Don't touch her Howler," Mikey yelled walking over with Dustin and Jake at his side.

Mikey, Jake, and Dustin were Saige's other 3 older brothers. Mikey was 10, Dustin was 11, and Jake was 13.

I don't remember a lot after that. There was a lot of fighting, I can tell you that but that's the last thing I remember the rest of that school day. But I do remember being home….

Melissa was already home since she was in junior high. Megan and I walked together down the long driveway towards the house. We talked about random things until we got to the house.

I lived with Megan, Melissa, Mike my foster dad, and Coylene my foster mom. Well they were all more like my foster family, yeah I said it, foster family. Eli, Amelia and Jake, I didn't meet until I was 12.

This was my 10th foster home, believe it or not. I wasn't always innocent. I got put into the foster care system when I was 4. I didn't remember anything from my past, and I knew that, that family wasn't my family. It haunted me.

For my first foster home, I was an only child in the house. They kept me until I was 7. They dropped me off on the side of the road and my social workers found me in 2 days. They told me I caused too much trouble. I refused to listen to them, did the total opposite of what they said.

They tried everything to discipline me, they even threatened to not feed me. My response was, 'go ahead, I'll starve to death. I would rather be dead then to see you guys.' I was 6 when I said that.

It's hard to believe I been only living with Megan and Melissa and them for a few months. It's also hard to believe that I went through 8 foster homes in 3 years.

I ran away from my 8 other foster homes. Only one of those I regret, which was the last foster home I was at until this one. She was a single mom and her name was Zoey. I was 9 years old when I stayed with her.

Megan walked in the door first, I walked in right after her. The first thing I noticed was it was quiet. It's never quiet, even if it's just Melissa there, which was the case. She usually watches TV or listens to music on full blast.

All of a sudden she jumps out, and smashes a cupcake in Megan's face. Then Melissa ran to their room shutting the door behind her. I could hear Megan running down the hallway and banging on the door yelling at Melissa.

I threw my book bag on the ground and sat down at the dining room table. I wasn't going to get between them. That's just stupid right there. I got out my math homework and started on that. Ignoring every bang, and scream going on down the hallway.

When Melissa came out she ran to the kitchen heading to the sink. Her hair was soaked so was half of her shirt.

It's different having 2 older sisters instead of 2 older brothers (like Pony). Older brothers when they fight they just wrestle more physical fighting, then make up at the end. Older sisters when they fight, it's verbally and physically they hit and scream at each other, then claim to hate each other, and don't make up until hours later, or maybe even days.

I have seen Melissa and Megan fight. They fight almost every day. Melissa now had a full cup of water when Megan came out, she threw it on her once she got close enough. Melissa started to laugh, and so did I.

"MELISSA!" Megan screamed at her pushing her to the ground.

Melissa laid back still laughing, Megan eventually joined in.

Later on when our mom got home, we all sat down at the table to do homework. I had math, Megan worked on cursive and reading, and Melissa worked on algebra, and social studies, while mom made dinner.

In the middle of working on my math the phone started to ring. Mom picked it up, but it ended up being for me so I answered with a, "Hello?"

"Hey!"

It was Emma.

"Hey."

"Want to come over?" Emma asked.

"It's a school night," I reminded her.

"So…..? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Have to go to bed early," I said.

"So….?"

"Emma, I-"

"Please! Leo, Logan, and Saige are going to be at the kickball field at 5, don't you want to come?" she asked.

"About Corey?"

"He has a gig….an audition, whatever you call it," she said.

"Hold on," I held the phone down, "can I go out?"

"Sure, what time will you be back?" she asked.

"7." I told her really quickly, then told Emma I would be there.

I hanged up the phone, put my school work away, put on my shoes, grabbed my jacket and ran out the door while yelling 'bye'. I was tying my jacket around my waste while I was running down the driveway.

I made it to, 'Sweet's ice cream shop' in less than 10 minutes. 'Sweet's ice cream shop' is what Emma's family owns, and how they make all their money. They are known around town for the best ice cream ever made.

The bell on top of the door ringed as I went inside and sat at on the stool by all the favors of ice cream. Emma's mom used to give us all free ice cream during the summer when it was really hot out, that is before she left.

She just kind of ran off one day and left the rest of the Sweet kids to defend for their selves. The only Sweet kids left is, Emma's older brother, and Emma's younger sister and brother. Emma did have 1 other older brother and sister, but as soon as they turned 18 (which was the same day since they were twins) they left.

"Hey Johnny!" a light, small, cheery voice said from behind me. I turned around, it was Rosie, Emma's 3 year old sister.

"Hey!" I greeted.

"How are you?" she asked, struggling to get on the stool.

"Good, how about you?" I asked.

"Great!" she jumped down, "want to play?"

"Not right now," I told her, "where's Emma?"

She grinned then screamed, "EMMA!" JOHNNY'S HERE!"

Emma ran down the stairs, grabbing Rosie and sitting her on the stool.

"Hiya!" Emma said.

"Hey, when are we going?" I asked.

"Now," she said, then turned to the staircase, "Max get down here and watch Rosie, I'm going out."

Emma turns towards Rosie and kisses her on her cheek, "see you later, Rosebud!"

Max bounds down the steps, and picks up Rosie. Max was Emma's 7 year old brother, and I was guessing Matt was upstairs, Emma's 14 year old brother.

Emma pulled me out by the sleeve of my jacket.

"So where are we really going?" I asked.

When we turned towards where the gas station was. The kick ball field was right across from Emma's ice cream shop. It's a huge field with picnic tables and basketball courts, and fence around the kick ball field.

"To the dojo," Emma said simply.

The dojo, was the place me and my friends 'hangout' we stayed there to get away from our families, and everyone else. We practiced karate there. I don't seem the type of guy to do karate that is until you get me on the mats in a dojo with an opponent.

We were the Wasabi Warriors, and our worst enemies which happened to be Bryce's 'gang', were the Black Dragons. They were amazing at Karate. They all did it since they were 6. I just started this year, but I guess I'm pretty good for my age.

When we made it to the dojo, everyone except Corey were sitting on the bleachers waiting.

I don't remember that practice very well. We talked, we sparred, we fought each other, then I remember going to Emma's afterwards but ended up leaving earlier than we were supposed to because her dad showed up with some of his drunken friends.

Leo and Logan were neighbors, and lived near the school so they were going the opposite direction as me and Saige. I remember calling my 'mom' to see if I could stay the night at Saige's, but I don't remember the conversation, I remember the night at Saige's so I guess she said yes.

"James is out on a date tonight, so it will just be me, you, Jake, Mikey, Dustin, and Luke. Don't worry about my brothers I won't let them bother us," Saige informed me, as we walked on Boondocks Rd.

Boondocks Rd. is a big dirt road that stretches all the way out to the mountains. It's also the road that leads to Saige's, Corey', and my houses'. Cars hardly pass through here, mostly during the summer, and on weekends, and holidays, because it New Mexico, we have the best sites ever.

"Who is James going out with?" I asked.

James was Saige's oldest brother, he was 19. He takes care of Saige and her other brothers, while Samantha is off at college, to become a nurse.

"Beats me," Saige shrugs, "it's like he has a new girl every weekend."

"But it's not the weekend," I pointed out.

"I know, he met her last weekend, tonight is their 3rd date. But he'll probably hook up with another girl this weekend. I mean tomorrow's Friday, so…." Saige trailed off.

"Oh, yeah I almost forgot tomorrow's Friday," I smiled, "It's going to be spring break!"

"Yep," Saige sounded relieved, "2 whole weeks of relaxing with you guys, this is going to be nice."

We stayed quiet as we thought silently to ourselves what we were going to do over break. It was getting dark, fast, and we weren't even halfway to Saige's house yet. She lives the farthest away from town, and school, it takes 30 minutes for her to get to school.

Her and her brothers would go to a different school, but the closest town is nearly 20 to 30 miles away. The school even suggested home school, but they can't since James wasn't able to finish school because he had to take care of them, and their parents were dead so, they had no choice but to go to school.

"Hey guys," a voice piped up out of nowhere.

We turned around to find Corey, sitting on the fence at the end of his drive way. If there wasn't street lights we wouldn't have seen Corey, or the nasty bruise that was forming on his right cheek, and the swelled up red left cheek.

"Hey Corey," Saige hopped up on the fence beside him.

Corey put his arm around Saige and pulled her in closer. They treated each other like brother and sister, so it was normal. I hopped up on the fence beside Saige.

"What happened to your cheeks?" I asked, probably already know the answer.

"I honestly don't know how the bruise got there, but my other cheek that's red umm…my mom."

"How do you not know how you got that bruise, it's a pretty good size?!" Saige asked, ignoring the part about his mom.

He shrugged, and laughed as he said, "maybe I ran into a door in my sleep."

I rolled my eyes, "we should get going."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you guys later," he said.

I didn't invite him, because I didn't want to get him in even more trouble with his mom then he already is. Saige jumped off the fence with me and we ran onto the road.

The street lights started to disappear once we got farther down the road. It was almost dark, we could (for now) see our hand in front of our face. I followed Saige up her driveway once we got there.

Her drive way was long, it took a good 5 to 10 more minutes before we could see the light dangling from the barn. We made it to her huge house, and walked inside. Almost all the lights in the house were on.

Luke, and Jake (Saige's 15 and 13 year old brother) were at the table doing their homework, while Mikey, and Dustin were chasing each other around the house with fake water guns.

"I'm home, with Johnny," Saige announced, throwing her jacket on a nearby.

After getting a few 'hey's, and 'hi's we ran downstairs to hangout.

We plopped down on the couch and talked for ages, about the most random things. Like what we thought about school, how excited we were for spring break, how excited Saige was to take me to my first ever hot air balloon festival, and how much I liked the foster home now.

I did like my foster home, I loved having a family, parents who cared, and older sisters. We acted like the Curtis' family, well that's what it reminds me of now. We DID act like that, and loved the feeling of a family.

But I knew it wouldn't last long, cause they will eventually get sick of me, and get rid of me, that's what happened at most of my other foster homes. This couldn't last that long, I only been here for a few months anyways, but I already got attached to this family.

I hated that. I hated how I could attached so easily, even though I know I'm just going to hurt more with getting attached.

My first ever foster home, I was there for 3 years. I was there from when I was 4 to when I was 7. They were so nice, treated me like I was their actual child, but I wasn't, and the sad thing was….

I didn't know I wasn't their actual child…until…

They got rid of me, they dropped me off on the side of the road, because they were getting a divorce and neither of them had the heart or money to tell me that they couldn't keep me, and I wasn't their child.

I never was, but I felt like I was.

It hurt so much….

When I was 7 years old, only 7 that was the first time I ever tried to kill myself.

Sometimes, I wish I succeeded….


	4. Chapter 3 Monsters

Chapter 3

I remember that night pretty good, after me and Saige talked downstairs, we went upstairs to get ready for bed. We went up to her room, and I was going to sleep on the bottom bunk. The bottom bunk for Saige's guests, and if she has too many guests then we would all sleep in the basement.

Saige and I just laid there in complete darkness, besides the full moon that shined across the bedroom floor, which played as a night light. It was dead silent too, besides the sounds coming from the animals outside.

I looked up at the ceiling, and just started thinking. Saige was thinking too, I know because she wouldn't be so quiet if she wasn't thinking. If she wasn't thinking she would be humming, or talking, or doing something active. She's not one to stay still and quiet.

Right when I thought I was going to sleep, Saige speaks up.

"I wish we didn't have to go to school tomorrow."

I sighed, "Yeah, I hate school."

"School sucks," she paused, "but you have to admit its pretty fun, as long as Bryce and friends get in the way. I mean, I get to see you guys, I get away from my house, but then there's Julia and Bryce and their friends, and they just ruin it. They ruin everything."

"Trust me they don't ruin everything. I know people who ruin everything, and they are way worse than Bryce and his friends," I said.

"Really? Who?"

"Lights out guys," James' voice boomed throughout the hallway.

"The lights are out," Saige yelled back.

"Well then stop talking," he yelled.

"Stop waking us all up, and maybe we will all stop talking," I could hear Mikey yell from his room next door.

"Everyone just go to sleep, I have to wake up early for work, you guys are walking to school tomorrow," his voice was still loud but he wasn't yelling anymore, "Everyone is waking up at 5, that way you will have time for a quick breakfast, to get ready, and then walk. And also, no fighting, Luke you're in charge."

"Got it," Luke yelled.

"Now everyone go to sleep."

"We would be asleep by now if it wasn't for you," Jake yelled.

"You guys would be late for school tomorrow, if it wasn't for me," he said.

"G' night Johnny," Saige said.

"Night."

The next morning Saige and her brothers still fought, and didn't stop until Jake took it too far taking Saige's hat, and threatening to burn it. She had him down quicker than you could blink.

That hat meant the world to her, it was an army hat, it was the last thing her dad sent her before he died. I know for a fact that Jake wouldn't burn it. I mean, come on he was Jake's dad too, he was their dad.

But Saige still didn't like threats. She twisted his arm around his back, while sitting on back, and kept yelling at him to say uncle or I give. The rest of us sat back and laughed, Luke broke it up before it got worse.

We went to school, we weren't late, and we all made it through the day.

The next thing I remember is being home one day. I don't know if it was that same day after school, or the next day, or maybe even the day before. But I remember it like it was yesterday.

Mike, my foster dad. He was a known man around town. He seemed good and a friend to some people, but then to other people….other people thought he was a piece of shit, including my friends, and my friends families. They hated Mike, and they hated the way he talked to me, even the way he looked at me.

I'm not scared of him, but at the same time I am. Well I'm scared to be alone with him, like him and me alone in the house, together.

He gave off this anger I didn't like, he mostly gave it off to me. When he talked to me, he would either talk to me very slowly, or very short and sweet. So he pretty much talked to me like I was stupid.

At first I would play along, I would laugh along with everyone else. Then it just got old, he would talk to me like that normally, even if I didn't say anything stupid, or annoying. I came to hate it. It became emotion abuse.

I hate saying that, I never took it like that, or imaged it like that until now. He would talk to me like I was stupid, but then it turned until saying I was stupid, I don't mean, 'you're stupid'. I mean when I defended myself when Megan or Melissa were joking around, and I would say, 'I'm not stupid', if Mike was there, he would jump right in and say something like 'yeah he's not that stupid,' or 'you're more stupid then people think you are.'

It didn't hurt that much when he just plain said it, what really hurt is that they would laugh along and nod their heads agreeing. I hated them for that.

I guess that's why I don't joke around, or why I take jokes seriously (like when Two-bit's joking around with me). It all started off as a joke, (something like Two-bit would make), but then it became serious.

It was like he kept telling the joke every day to make everyone laugh, not at the joke, but at me.

I wished it stayed as a joke, then maybe I could take a joke, maybe I could actually joke around for once, that would be nice.

I guess I'm too scared that it would end up like Mike's jokes. I always hated his jokes, if they could even be considered jokes.

Again I hate saying that it's emotional abuse, I didn't think it was like that, just tough teasing but I was only 10 then. I'm older now, and now I know it is, because my parents now talk to me the same way just worse, but they still talk like that.

I don't like to be known as the abused kid, or the loner, or the shy one. Yeah, I was all of those, but I still didn't like being considered one. My life wasn't that bad was it? My life has been the worst out of all my friends I had throughout my life.

I went through everything my friends gone through, without them noticing. I lost my parents, I had a dad that ran off on me and a mom that worked so hard to keep me, her, and my little foster sibling together to the point where she got rid of me, I had a foster dad that kicked me out and a foster mother that ran off, and I had a foster dad that refused to take care of me, and a foster mom that died.

I went through everything my friends went through. I understand how they feel.

I can't have a normal life. I can't have an amazing life. I never had a real family for my whole life, not just for 2 or 4 years. I never had amazing parents, like the Curtis'.

I do have suicidal thoughts, I did try to commit suicide before, more than once. I thought God hated me, because of my life, but if he really hated me, I would already be dead, I wouldn't even be alive in the first place.

My friends know how important they are to me, but they don't at the same time. Cause my friends were my only family. I don't count my foster homes anymore, cause I didn't stay at them, they either got rid of me, or I ran away. So they aren't family.

My friends are family and only my friends.

Anyways to that day I remember like it was yesterday. Mike had called us in the living room and asked us what we wanted to eat. I just said naturally, 'food'. I remember him rolling his eyes annoyed then said what kind of food.

I guess it really hit him when I said slowly and sarcastically (like he had done to me), 'there's kinds, good job. I didn't know there was kinds of food. I would never guess.'

What made him madder was Megan and Melissa laughing.

'Fine if you want to act that way, no food for you.'

I smirked at him, 'that's neglect, you know.'

'Are you saying I'm abusing you cause I ain't doing that,' he had said.

'Whatever.'

'Bullshit,' he had yelled.

With the same smirk on my face, I narrowed my eyes, stepped a little closer, and had said, 'Bull true.'

You could see it in his eyes that he was mad, furious, more like.

My smirked faded into a smile, I was happy for myself. I was glad that I made him mad. I wished I could have done it more offend.

I never liked Mike. I never will. When I was 10, I was kind of like Dally, I still got scared and nervous about certain things, but at times I hit the breaking point and explode. I go off on people, and I don't stop until they either walk away or physically stop me.

Their words didn't affect me when I was yelling at them, because the only thing I was focused on was hurting them.

Sometimes I wonder, now that I'm older, what the gang would think of my past. I don't plan to tell them, but they might just find out by themselves, probably find this writing and decide to read it like when they find Pony's papers.

I'm kind of afraid to know their reactions, they probably be mad/angry reactions, but surprised at the same time.

I didn't keep everything bottled up, like all my emotions when I was little, cause I had my friends to talk to and they would understand cause they all went through almost the same things. And there was my counsel at school, there was Mr. Felker, and Mrs. Morrison.

They were great people, and they are the first people I told about my past foster homes and what I all go through. They were probably the most surprised out of all of my friends, and that surprised me, cause I thought they got cases like this all the time. And they would know how to handle it.

Apparently not.

The gang think I have a totally different life then what I actually have. They think my parents now, are the parents I had since birth. They aren't. They think I'm an only child but if I add up all of my foster siblings I had over the years I would have, 3 older foster brothers, 3 older foster sisters, 2 younger foster brothers, and 1 younger foster sister. That's 9 siblings!

I had different interests when I was younger too. Now I'm not in anything, no sports, and no kind of after school thing. When I was younger I was in basketball, martial arts, and I did extreme art with Saige, and me and my friends kind of had a band, so I played instruments, the guitar, the key board, piano, and drums. I sang, believe it or not I had a unique voice, well that's what my friends said.

Currently I was in school, on that Friday with Saige in the music room, it was recess and we decided to stay in.

"White lips, pale face  
>Breathing in snowflakes<br>Burnt lungs, sour taste,"

I was pretty good at the piano, Saige sat back as she listened. She always described my voice like kind of deep, but light, and smooth. I don't know how to describe my voice when I sing, it's different when I'm singing instead of talking, it's like I stole someone's voice.

Cause I'm actually kind of good, it's weird.

"Light's gone, day's end  
>Struggling to pay rent<br>Long nights, strange men,"

She smiles at me, when I finish this verse. She holds up her hand for me to pause. I stop playing, "Yeah?" I ask.

"Sing more from down here, instead of up here. Breathe where your stomach goes up and down, not your shoulders," she told me, then told me to go on.

"And they say  
>She's in the Class A Team<br>Stuck in her daydream  
>Been this way since eighteen<br>But lately her face seems  
>Slowly sinking, wasting<br>Crumbling like pastries  
>And they scream<br>The worst things in life come free to us  
>Cause we're just under the upper hand<br>And go mad for a couple grams  
>And she don't want to go outside tonight<br>And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland  
>And sells love to another man<br>It's too cold outside  
>For angels to fly<br>Angels to fly

Ripped gloves, rain coat  
>Tried to swim and stay afloat<br>Dry house, wet clothes

Loose change, bank notes  
>Weary-eyed, dry throat<br>Call girl, no phone

And they say  
>She's in the class A Team<br>Stuck in her daydream  
>Been this way since eighteen<br>But lately,  
>her face seems<br>Slowly sinking, wasting  
>Crumbling like pastries<br>And they scream  
>The worst things in life come free to us<br>Cause we're just under the upper hand  
>And go mad for a couple grams<br>And she don't want to go outside tonight  
>And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland<br>And sells love to another man  
>It's too cold outside<br>For angels to fly

An angel will die  
>Covered in white<br>Closed eyed  
>And hoping for a better life<br>This time, we'll fade out tonight  
>Straight down the line<p>

And they say  
>She's in the Class A Team<br>Stuck in her daydream  
>Been this way since eighteen<br>But lately her face seems  
>Slowly sinking, wasting<br>Crumbling like pastries  
>They scream<br>The worst things in life come to free us  
>And we're all under the upper hand<br>Go mad for a couple grams  
>And we don't want to go outside tonight<br>And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland  
>And sell love to another man<br>It's too cold outside  
>For angels to fly<br>Angels to fly  
>To fly, fly<br>For angels to fly, to fly, to fly  
>Or angels to die"<p>

That day was one of the best memories I had with my friends, now that I think about it.


End file.
